Kaimana: Still Recovering (The Post 2 Weeks in Coming)

What's the verdict on Kaimana 21? Those three days might be the best three days of my life so far - and I didn't even get to play (much). Some of the best ultimate players and the most fun ultimate players in the world converged on Waimonalo for an epic tournament that featured 4 Stanford-affiliated teams - women, men, and two sets of alumni. Despite half of our teams coming down with the plague, I stayed healthy - unlike last year - and spent my days coaching and nights partying. It was great to get to know alumni better and finally meet (or meet again) some of the ultimate community's more prominent figures. I was even belligerently called out at the party on Friday night by Match Diesel.

I got to Hawaii on Thursday, and our team was boarding 36 in 6 rooms at the most secure and most annoying hotel in Waikiki. The problem was that we only registered 12 people, since it was $30 extra per person - it seemed like no trouble, until the cops came. Or a single 18-year-old rent-a-cop came because our attempt at a game of Kings was getting too loud. He relayed all of our names down to the desk in military alphabet, and they found out that only one of the 13 people in the room was actually registered to the hotel. After a protracted attempt to kick us out failed after we threatened to sleep in our cars, they let us register for free because "there was a shooting at a hotel yesterday." On another island. So we all slept in the hotel, but our festivities were cut short.

We woke up in the morning to find that one of our rental vans had been broken into, and one of our rookies lost his laptop, iPod, etc., and Alicia lost her wallet, keys and cleats. But we put that behind us and went out to the beaches and campsite, where people set up tents and we played many epic games of Double Disc Court - broken-leg-Chris and broken-wrist-Ryan even managed to win a game, 11-7 over chump rookies Alec and Angus. We were quickly brought back down to earth by Lauren Casey and Jenny Founds, who beat us handily, 13-9. Too many cheap shots to injured body parts in that game - typical Superfly.

That night was registration and the opening party. The theme for Kaimana 21 was "Finally Legal," and the gear was all designed with a playing card motif. Unfortunately, the Hawaiian aspect of the design wasn't quite there this year. I ended up at the captains meeting for Bloodthirsty, Superfly, and Superflown after meeting Match and then caught up with Brett Matzuka (formerly UQueensland/Nhara Moku, now NC State/Voltron). It was a relatively tame night, with no open bar and traditional island music instead of a roaring DJ. Notable and shameful occurrence from the night: our rookies getting roasted by the women in a boat race. Early to bed in the van in order to keep the wrist elevated, and I woke up around 7 and hit the fields early in order to grab some delicious smoothie and muffins at the tent.

Our first game was against Freaks, a Japanese team in some way affiliated with Sophia University. They were a quick team that moved the disc well and killed us with upline cuts at first. We started out with a 4-0 run, then they came out with a 5-0 run after making some adjustments, and then we clamped down on their dumps and got a lot of sideline turns during our next 4-0 run. In a common thread of the weekend, we were up 11-8 and pulling when hard cap went on, and they scored the final point. They were good, and they proved it by winning Ninals on Monday. Notable from this game: a rookie (with B-team experience) got a D, caught the disc out of bounds, and then threw it back at the field for a turnover. In front of the heckling sideline, no less. How embarrassing.

Our second game was against Helolo, a team we played last year in our first game. They're an older team from the Big Island but incredibly fun, and we had a great time during this game. We started out a game with a spandex vs. pink thong point (victory: spandex!), took half 8-5, won the halftime boatrace to receive the pull, and immediately sent out our rookies for a naked point. Helolo didn't want to be upstaged, and six of them joined in (one pink thong). Unfortunately, they won the naked point, but fortunately it took a while, so our womens team got the full monty. We won 11-6 and headed for some delicious Keneke's plate lunches in the main tent. Highlight: a rookie toes the line for a catch right in front of Superfly, then pivots out of bounds for the huge forehand as the girls watch in horror/delight, only half-pretending to cover their eyes.

After a bye and a round spent on Superflown's sidelines (Lauren Casey is a turnover machine when she's not on Fury's leash), we had our most important game of the weekend against Doughboy for control of the pool. Skeletor had a bye and controlled the far sideline, and as the game got more intense they moved from heckling to cheering. We started with a 3-0 lead, and Doughboy never really recovered. They are an athletic, strong team with great throws and defense, and we battled the entire game. We led until the very end, despite a comeback at the very end of the round. We found ourselves receiving at 11-10, with a score to win the game. Sherwood took the pull at the brick mark and immediately threw a huck to Jacob Speidel, who went up early and posterized his defender, who was playing good defense and even with him. Game, blouses. 12-10. Afterwards we sang about bestiality with the Aussies, but their heart didn't seem to be in it. It was actually really sad.

The dinner was decent Mexican, which was okay. The music was more upbeat, which was good. And the bar was open, which was great. We played several rousing games of Blowy Baggy, which we learned from the Aussies last year - an almost empty gigantic bag of tortilla chips is placed in the middle of the table, and everyone seated blows at the bag. When the bag lands, whoever it's pointing to must drink - and if it touched someone, that person has to finish their drink. Thanks to focused efforts, we managed to hit Laurent "LARE-AUNT" Lessard, our hapless B-team coach, something like seven times in a row before he tapped out. I missed most of the rest of the party, since both Bloodthirsty and Superfly were initiating rookies behind the tent. Before we knew it, it was 1 am and Tom James was shaving an arrow into my chest hair.

Sunday morning brought on Aloha Spirit, and I was determined to play. Despite intentionally leaving my cleats and compression shorts behind, I warmed up barefoot, throwing lefty. Unfortunately, the rest of the team was not as enthusiastic - I was the first person down on each pull, and we only took half 8-6. They had a great lefty thrower who launched some big hucks to a strong receiver. I did have a point block - not with the casted hand. We pulled it together in the second half, and at 14-8 with the disc on the endzone line, we called a reverse injury sub and put in Chris, who hopped past his man and layed out for a disc at the front cone. But Tom put it way out of bounds, and Chris had to call an actual injury timeout. Final score: 15-8.

Next up was Match and Almos Pau, which was a must-win game for us if we wanted an easier road to the semifinals. They were a good group of players, but we just outran and outfocused them. They had miscues and didn't deal well with our variety of defenses, and when we shut down their hucks they crumbled. We let them back into the game by trading with them at the end, but it was too little too late as we came away with the 12-8 victory.

Our final game of the day was a no-pressure game against Ono, the defending champs and a team stacked with experienced club players. We started out strong with two breaks, but Ono came back strong and hard. We worked the disc well against their man and they eventually came zone, which we broke well with hammers, scoobers, and give-go power moves. But we did turn the disc over a few too many times. Their offense was extremely strong and efficient, and while we managed to stop their hucks with some straight-up defense, they worked the disc underneath extremely confidently and with good breaks. It's easy to see why they won last year. But we were grinding hard on defense and pressured them into turnovers and several long points. Sherwood had great matchups on Dugan and Jacob played well against Hollywood too. This game showed us that we can play with any team in the country - we'll see how we've improved when we play against Jam and Revolver at DUI. Ono won 11-7, but we were the first team to take them to the cap.

After a quick "shower" in the water fountain and sink at the beach campsite (can't get that cast wet!), we went back for the Keneke's take on Chinese food dinner. I spent some time behind the table handing out egg rolls (spring rolls?) and then sat down and began the night's festivities. I got recognized by Meredith Tosta at the bar while Miranda poured me a stiff drink (her choice, not mine). After a while of just sitting and talking with Superflown and Skeletor players, I picked up another drink and talked with rookies about their debauchery the night before. There was plenty to go around. On my way back to the tent, I inadvertently walked into a big circle that had formed around a wheel attached to a pole. I was peer-pressured into spinning it, and imagine my horror when the wheel landed on "LANDSHARK."

After a couple half-attempts to avoid it - "I don't have a disc" and "Who will carry me?" - were taken care of, I shucked my clothes and got paraded around the dance floor. Several times. Right in the midst of the Stanford/Stanford alumni crowd. Thanks anonymous carriers! Except for the one that dropped out and the one that kept cupping my balls. Of course, Chris McQwerty couldn't be outdone, and he followed with his own landshark - where he swung his crutches around at head height and cleared the dance floor. After getting his clothes back, Chris tried to crutch back to his beach bed, but ended up sleeping on the fields for about two hours. It's okay - he wasn't alone.

Back at the tent, the dancing went well into the night, and the Stanford teams were well represented, along with Lone Star, Voltron, Ponies with Uzis, and Smoke Fire Higher Lower. The guys from Philthy and Phlllbt and the Phine ladies were still around but off the dance floor. Despite having our important early morning quarters game against Mulva Park, we represented at the party. That was one of the most fun nights I've ever had - I love you Kaimana!

The team wandered over to the fields in a slow trickle from 7:30 to 9, with a couple sudden victims of the plague coming several hours later. Our game against Mulva Park was never in doubt, as we went up early and traded out. They had some good players, and Rocky in particular hurt us. But we were more disciplined and never let the game get out of our hands. We were pulling at 13-10 when cap went on, and they scored the last point to finish the game 13-11.

Our final game of the weekend was the semifinals against Skeletor. We should have been fired up to play our alumni team, but we came out flat and they were incredibly energized. We started out even enough, and Angus even took Josh Wiseman deep. But soon we found ourselves staring at a 5-13 deficit. We battled back, though, and went on a 5-1 run where Skeletor's only goal game on one of our pulls that went out of bounds at the goal line and never came back in. Hard cap sounded at 14-10, and we requested to play out to 15. Kevin Cissna quickly interjected that the game was over, and Skeletor wouldn't play anymore. Instead of playing to 15, we never even got to play the meaningless last point. Discuss: did Skeletor sell out by having Davis alums and Daryl play? We match up better without Halverson and Mike Stintenos on the other line. Rematch? Just alumni vs actives.

Regardless, there was a bye before finals, so more Keneke's was had by all. I had the bright idea of filling up a pretzel barrel with 160 ounces of beer, and Chris and Tom finished it all themselves. This was only the first barrel of many. Half of the team was passed out by the time we got to our house Monday night. For those of us still lucid, the finals was a great game. Skeletor led most of the game, and fantastic catches and D's were on display. At halftime, a landporpoise and Chris's 2nd landshark were on display. Brandon Steets made an amazing endzone grab right in front of me and came down injured on the play, and Robbie Cahill had a spectacular layout grab of a leading pass in the same general area. Ono came up with several crucial breaks late to force universe point - it was a final for the ages. When Skeletor scored the last point, the sidelines erupted and Stanford rushed the field. In a couple years, when we join Skeletor, we'll be able to remember when we won the championship.

Striking the campsites at Kaimana is an interesting feeling. We rent a house for several days afterwards, so there's still plenty of fun to be had. But the camaraderie of Kaimana isn't exactly present - it's just college kids (and the occasional sketchy alum) having fun in Hawaii. Kaimana is hundreds of ultimate players enjoying Hawaii and the spirit of ultimate in one of the most beautiful places in the world. It's a good thing that the competition is great too, otherwise we couldn't justify coming back year after year. I hope the competition stays great - I plan to return for many years to come.